


Stolen Innocence

by Nuredhel



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate ending to story, Crime, F/M, Genderbent Characters, Gift Work, One Shot, Rape, Unwanted Pregnancy, haughty vanyar, helpfull maiar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 00:38:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7145015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nuredhel/pseuds/Nuredhel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would happen to an elf if a marriage bond was forged through force? This is a one shot linked to the story Tears of Blood by Rogercat, it plays with the possibilities presented in chapter four and five of that story. In this story Maedhros is female and has a son while she is a captive in Angband, after their death they are reborn in Aman and since Russafinwë or Rusâ is a prince he is sought after by the females, One has some very devious plans regarding his future....<br/>This story does contain rape/non-con and is rather mature in nature.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stolen Innocence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rogercat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rogercat/gifts).



Stolen innocence

She was waiting by the storage room, her heart beating hard and her palms sweaty. She was ready, it was all going according to plan now. She had managed to drug that stupid servant and was wearing her uniform and she had disguised herself well with a veil over her hair and she knew how to trick someone into believing that they were safe. She would go through with this, no matter what, for she wanted a royal husband and this was the only way she could get one. Russafinwê was the only young prince available and she wouldn’t take the chance of someone else managing to snatch him first. She deserved that status, that level of class, and maybe one day she would become a queen. It was all she could think of, her parents were not at all of a status high enough for her ambitions and she was used to getting whatever she wanted.   
She waited impatiently, the huge vase was ready, he was a gentle elf and would of course try to help her move it and then…then he would he hers. She had prepared the storage room too, and had strong ropes ready. She had thought of it and had also gotten a small scarf she could use to gag him, after all, if he did resist she didn’t want anyone to hear him shout. Vanê wasn’t worried about the thing she was to do at all, she just focused on the thing she wanted, a title and the right to be the wife of a high ranking person. He was after all in line to the Noldorin throne and even if his father was unknown he held the title of prince. She didn’t care if his father was some lowborn middle earth elf, of course that made Rusâ a bastard but who cared as long as he still was Maedhros son and could inherit the throne. 

It was a great luck that he had come to this party and it had given her this wonderful opportunity to catch him before someone else did. Oh she did fear Saira, they were related of course but the Finweions were a bit odd that way and did things others didn’t even consider, and that blond little bitch shouldn’t be allowed to snatch Vanê’s price. No, she would succeed with her plan and then she would be the wife of someone important. That was her dream, and of course he would bow to her will and submit to her wishes, she would make sure that he did. Vanê was in fact terribly spoiled and awfully naïve and she failed to see that others had a will of their own and could be stronger than her. To her he was a step on the social ladder, a useful tool and if catching him meant that she had to do nasty things then be it. It was a small price to pay after all. To most vanyarin maidens of her social standing catching a good husband was their goal in life, their life path decided by their gender and without a husband they would be regarded as outcasts and losers.   
She heard footsteps and quickly she bent down, struggled with the heavy vase. She wasn’t used to work and to her it was extremely heavy, her grunts were at least real. He took the bait, just the way she thought he would, offered to help and carried the vase over to where she wanted him. Knocking him out was even easier and now the tricky part came, she got his coat and shirt off, then his undershirt and she managed to tie his hands behind his back. He was huge and heavy and she struggled a lot before she managed to drag him into the room and bar the door. 

She quickly gagged him and then she dragged him into a corner and prepared to remove the stolen uniform. Vanê was of course a maiden, she had never been with a male before and she was relatively new to the whole idea of bedding someone. She had heard others talking about it of course and she had some ideas of the mechanics of the act but she was quite convinced that this would be very easy. She had heard others claim that it hurt a lot the first time but she didn’t care, she could handle a little pain and it was worth it. 

Rusâ woke up with a terrible headache, and panic surged through him right away, he couldn’t move, it was rather dark and to him that immediately triggered his memories of his first life in Angband. He tried to wriggle himself free but the ropes were too strong and he was gagged too, a piece of cloth tied tightly around his head. He was panting, what was this? His clothes were removed, only his pants and boots were left and he didn’t understand. Then a female appeared from the corner, wearing only a thin and very flimsy shift and he tried to call out, to scream but he failed to make any sound except form a sort of growl, the gag was too tight. She got closer and he recognized her but in his confused state her red blond hair did remind him of Sauron and his panic did increase tenfold. He was struggling like mad but the ropes were tight and she got over and sat down onto his hips, held him in place. Rusâ was panting, his eyes burning with tears and he could almost smell that horrible scent that had been everywhere within Angband. The scent of decay and death and despair and the glow in that girl’s eyes was so much like that of Sauron. 

He tried to fight her, to buck her off but she pressed down onto his throat with her underarm and it cut off his airways and caused him to choke. He tried to head butt her but she avoided it and slapped him across his face, hard. “Lay still you bastard, this will be over with soon, I am going to marry you and become a princess and then everybody has to do as I tell them to.”

He couldn’t believe it, how naïve was she? How stupid? But her words sent him into a frenzy of fear, he remembered what he had seen happen in Angband, and he remembered that horrible day when he was forced to take Maeglin as his concubine, much against his own will. But now he was helpless, he didn’t want this at all, and he tried to wriggle free but was rewarded for that with a hit that almost sent him into unconsciousness yet again. She held him down and opened his belt, pulled his pants down. “I cannot wait for another twenty years, by then someone may have claimed you, so screw the rules, you are to be mine” 

She was almost growling and he saw Sauron, not some deranged Vanyarin maiden, the very thought of being at the monsters mercy once more sent him into a state of paralysis. He became completely limp with fear, barely able to breathe, cold sweat running down his torso and his heart was beating like a drum in his chest. Vanê stared down at him, she had an expression of disgust on her face. She of course knew that males were anatomically different from females and she had seen drawings and art where the male parts were visible but it was something all together different seeing it for real. It was disgusting in her eyes but she wouldn’t let that stop her. She had heard others chatting and giggling and speaking of males and how they reacted to touch and so she started to fondle him, rather brutally. 

Rusa whimpered, he felt terrible, violated and dirty and nobody ought to touch him like that, only his one true love should know him that intimately. He tried to buck her off again but she hit him with her closed fist, so hard she almost broke his nose and now he was bleeding profusely from it, afraid it would cause him to choke. The herbs he had been taking since his father ordered him to did decrease the libido to a level where it was almost non existent but the herbs had one weakness. They couldn’t stop the natural responses to touch, not completely. So her fondling did have an effect and he did grow hard although slowly. His mind was reeling, he was trying to get rid of the gag but to no prevail and Vanê stared down at his crotch and now she looked even more disgusted. She picked up something from the floor, he saw that it was a small vial of some sort of salve and she poured some onto her hand and then she smeared it all over him. He sobbed, tears were running down his cheeks and he wanted to plead with her, to beg her to stop but she didn’t. There was sheer determination in her eyes and she almost growled. “Lay still damn it, I have to do this before they start looking for you!” 

Rusâ tried to buck again, to squirm and turn over but she grasped him by the throat and his arms hurt terribly since she had no idea of how to properly tie a person up without restraining their circulation, he was feeling dizzy and light headed, the fear pounding through his veins so strong he was close to passing out. In his mind he was back in Angband, being forced to become yet another breeding slave, useful only to beget more slaves for the dark lord and he would rather die but what could he possibly do now? He tried to scream but the gag stopped the sound and it sounded more like a distant growl of some kind and what now? There would never be him and Maeglin after this, his entire future was at stake and he wished that he hadn’t been reborn, that would have been a blessing compared with the destiny he now was to suffer. Such assault was unheard of among the eldar, nobody had ever heard of a nis raping a ner!

Vanê pushed herself forward until she could feel that hard organ against her female parts and then she bit her lower lip and pushed herself down onto it. She immediately let out a small shriek, the feeling was awful, it hurt so much more than she had imagined and she struck him again just out of sheer impulse. She felt as if she was being torn in two and she stared down at him in disbelief. Nobody had told her about this, some pain? Call it a lot! Rusâ was crying by now, gasping for air, his mind overcome with the sheer horror of it. This was something that was supposed to be pure and sacred, to be shared with his soulmate. Now it was stolen from him and defiled and soiled and some part of him started to die at that moment. He quit resisting, just laid there passive as she groaned and made a grimace. She knew that there was more to it than just this, so she started to move, even if it hurt like hell. Rusâ sort of hovered above himself, not really present within his hroa. The body did respond to the stimuli, even if it was forced. It tried to protect itself by creating pleasure but he didn’t feel that, not really.

Vanê hissed with pain but kept riding him rather vigorously and after just a little his body tensed up, then he shuddered as he came, shooting his seed into her. It was done, it was consummated and Vanê sort of gasped with relief and spat with disgust. The feeling of that warm sticky liquid inside of her was absolutely revolting and she couldn’t wait to get a bath and get rid of it. But it was done, she wouldn’t have to do this again ever, for now they were married in the eyes of the Valar and that was what mattered.   
She got up with a groan, blood and seed trickling down her inner thighs and she gave him a kick. “Look what you have done to me, you made me bleed you ill begotten bastard!”

The kick landed in his groin and Rûsa curled up into a ball, wheezing for air and slipping away more and more. He was ruined, there was no way Maeglin would want him now, and how could he ever touch another female knowing what had been done to him. Now he truly fully understood what his father had been through in Angband and as his consciousness slipped away he only hoped that Maeglin would forgive him for seeking the halls again. 

Vane stared down at him, her lips curled in a sort of grin, he was so weak, he would be easy to control for sure. She laughed out loud in triumph and didn’t realize that the sound could be heard through the air ducts which connected the storage to the rest of the complex. But on the outside the laugher was heard by Taurion and Ingwê who ran towards the door, only to find it blocked. Taurion pulled out his throwing axe and threw it at the door, he threw it so hard it made the door jump off its hinges and so the guards could remove it in spite of the bar, and Ingwë and Taurion rushed into the room and stopped dead in their tracks in sheer horror. Rusa laid on the floor and he was clearly unconscious, his hands tied behind his back and he was gagged too. He was bleeding from many wounds and from his nose and he was stripped naked, only his pants were left around his knees. There was blood on his male parts and over him Vanë stood, almost naked with the clear signs of what she had done very visible. Ingwë just gasped, stared at her in utter disbelief and she threw her head up in defiance and a sort of pride. “He is mine now, I married him, so nobody can get him before me.” 

Ingwë groaned, and Taurion let out a sort of keening sound that was just horrible to listen to. “You stupid girl, have you any idea of what you have done?!”

The king’s voice was hoarse and almost just a whisper and two guards grasped onto Taurion before he could jab his dagger through the female responsible for violating his son. She just stood there, a wild glimpse of stubbornness in her eyes. “Like I said, I married him. I am his wife now so you’d better address me as princess” 

Ingwë shook his head, he couldn’t believe this, it was…it was a disaster. This could quickly lead to another kinslaying if people found out about it. Taurion was kneeling beside Rusâ, he was pale as a sheet. “He is slipping away, please, do something!”

Ingwë tried to think fast. “I can call the healers, they are very skilled” 

Taurion shook his head. “No, no vanyar is ever gonna touch my son again as long as I still draw breath, no, help me get him out to the wood clan camp. Our healers are just as good as yours”

Ingwë nodded and Vanë stared at them with confusion. “You are not taking him anywhere, he is my husband, I decide what he is to do or not!”

Ingwë felt something snap within him, then he struck her across her face, hard. Vanë stumbled back, in disbelief. Nobody had hit her before, ever. “Take this…thing…to a secluded room, tie her to a chair and have the healers come to confirm what she has done. She is to speak to nobody, and keep this a secret.” 

The guards grasped onto the now kicking and swearing female who clearly didn’t realize that she had done something wrong. Taurion sent her a death glare. “ If you come close to my Arion once more I swear by Eru I will have your head, kinslaying or not!”

Ingwë wasn’t that shocked to hear Taurion confess to being Rusa’s father, after all, they were quite similar and he had often wondered if there could be a connection there. But what now, if the noldor found out there could be a terrible riot and what were they to do with the marriage? No vows had been exchanged and it had been between two underaged eldar but the rules were rather clear. A consummated intercourse meant marriage, end of story, Taurion looked horrified, he knew too well how Rusâ would have felt and his heart was crying for his son, could he even survive such a terrible violation? Some elves did die from rape and he feared for his son’s life. Ingwë was pale still. “I will send a messenger to Manwë right now, to hear what he can do about this horrible mess. That idiotic nis, I could never have imagined that she would be that mad!” 

The guards had brought a stretcher and now they gently put the unconscious youth onto it after Taurion covered him up with his cloak. The deviousness of Vanë’s plan was almost inconceivable to them all, forcing someone into a marriage like that? That was something he only would have thought that Sauron was capable of. Ingwë gestured for the guards to follow him. “Here, there is a corridor which leads through the palace and I don’t think anyone will see us there. This cannot be shared with anyone until we know how to deal with it.” 

They ran and suddenly Maeglin and Saira appeared from another corridor, Maeglin saw Rusâ on the stretcher and let out a shrill cry of fear and Taurion grasped onto her. “No, don’t touch him, he is alive, for now!”

Saira stared at the bloody face with bruises and cuts and her eyes were wide with shock. “What has happened?!”

Ingwë had a hard time speaking, he sort of kept swallowing hard. “He…Vanê she…She raped him, to force a marriage between them” 

Maeglin let out a loud sob, covering her mouth in shock and Saira screamed. “OH Eru no!”

They ran as fast as they could through the palace and Ingwë sent some servants ahead to prepare a carriage which could bring Rusâ to the camp unseen. 

 

As the king and the others tried to bring Rusâ to the healers before it was too late Vanê was hauled into a room and securely tied to a chair. The healers had been summoned and they were horrified and not the least shocked by what she had done. But they did manage to examine her in spite of her kicking and screaming and confirmed that yes, she had been deflowered and the marriage had been consummated. Vanë was so angry she was foaming around the mouth, they had no business treating her like this, she was a princess now and she swore she would punish them all as soon as they let her loose. The guards stayed in the room but they didn’t speak to her at all, they were aghast and would talk to her just as much as they would have wanted to talk to an orc! 

Ingwê saw that Rusâ was loaded into the carriage, Saira and Maeglin decided to go with the carriage but the king had to stay. Now he had to do his best to avoid a diplomatic mess of epic proportions and he was swearing to himself as he strode through the palace. Vanë’s parents were kind and fine elves he was fond off, but he would have to break this news to them himself, before someone else did and he already dreaded it. It would be devastating to them both, but there was no way around it, he would have to ask them to leave Valmar for a while, for their own safety. He knew his people, if those overly pious moral guardians got wind of this they could blame her parents and he didn’t want that to happen to neither of them.

He strode into his office, slammed the door shut and sat down in a chair, feeling oddly exhausted. That something like this could have happened within his palace was just gut churning and he tried to calm down but couldn’t quite do it. He got up again with a groan and went over to a cupboard, retrieved a bottle from it and took some huge swigs from it. It was a sort of liquor they had made before the great journey and it was terribly strong and had a feisty taste too but it helped. He coughed, then he sat down to write a letter to Manwë, pleading for his advice. 

 

Rusa was brought to the shamans in a hurry, as soon as the carriage left the city the driver gave the strong horses free reins and the animals ran as fast as they could. Taurion was riding next to the carriage and he took a short cut through the woods to prepare the healers and shamans of the horrible thing that happened. They were ready the moment the carriage stopped and the head healer Lianna touched Rusâ gently and made a grimace. “His fêa has left his body, but he isn’t in the halls yet. He is afraid to enter, too ashamed of what has happened.”

Taurion swore in his tribe’s language and Maeglin let out a small wail of fear and sorrow, what now? “Is there anything we can do?” 

The healers were checking him over for physical injuries, luckily there were few. Lianna tried to smile but she was deeply disturbed by what had happened to him. “Talk to him, try to convince him to return. He needs to hear familiar voices now, more than ever” 

Rusa was in fact hovering out there, in the nothingness that separates the world of the living from the halls of the dead. He couldn’t face Namo knowing what she had done to him, the shame burned deep within his soul and he felt so terribly alone. He longed for his family, for his ammë and for Rog but he didn’t dare to go to Formenos, afraid that he would taint their souls too if he got close to them. Instead he just stayed there, convinced that he didn’t deserve neither to live nor to enter the peace of the halls. 

In Formenos Maedhros had been busy folding some baby clothes when she suddenly felt a horrible sensation rush through her, it felt as if she had been stabbed through the heart with an ice dagger and she screamed and she almost fell down onto her knees. Cuwen was helping her and stared at her mother in shock before she started calling out for her ada and soon the room was filled with shocked and concerned elves. Rog held Maedhros tightly, he was terrified that something was wrong with her unborn child but Maedhros clung to him with more strength than she ought to have normally. “ Rog, it is Rûsa, something terrible has happened, we have to go to Valmar, now!”  
Rog swallowed hard, he had never seen such desperation in his wife’s eyes before. “I wouldn’t recommend such a long journey in your condition, are you sure that…” 

She interrupted him. “Yes, damn it, we have to go! Now!!”

Rog turned around and stared at his parents. “Ada, go to our neighbor, he has a light carriage and some swift horses, ask if you may borrow them. Our horses are not fast enough, and our wagon is too heavy for fast travel” 

Valsûl immediately left the room and they tried to calm Maedhros who was shaking like mad, she had to see her son again, he needed her help and she wouldn’t rest until she was by his side again. 

 

Rusa stayed unconscious, his fêa away from his body and the healers concentrated upon keeping it alive, that was all they could do. Taurion was beside himself with worry and anguish and not the least rage. He wanted to tear that darn vanyarin slut limb from limb and he just hoped that the valar would find a suitable punishment for her. Maeglin stayed by Rusa’s bed the whole time and Saira had to return home, she was told not to say what had happened, only that there had been an accident. 

 

Ingwë felt tired as he walked towards the treasury where Vanë’s father worked, he hated to deliver bad news to anyone and what news could possibly be worse than these? He took a deep breath as he entered the front room where Siryo were working on the inventory of the treasury. The other elf raised his head as he heard the king approaching and bowed deeply, a bit confused. The king hardly ever came down to the treasury himself and Siryo’s instincts sort of told him something was wrong. “My king? To what do I owe this honor?” 

Ingwë sighed and tried to smile. “ Siryo, I come as a bringer of some very bad news, so please, be seated” 

The head of the treasury frowned, confused. “What is it my king, have I displeased you in any manner? Aren’t the latest numbers correct? I can do them over again, it will be no problem at all…” 

He was rambling since he was getting nervous and Ingwë’s heart was bleeding for the poor elf. “No, your work is excellent as always, you are among my most precious servants, no it is…it is about…Vanë” 

Siryo paled visibly. “Eru, what is wrong, is she ill? Has something happened to her? Don’t tell me she is dead?!”

Ingwê took a deep breath, he braced himself for this was the worst message he ever had had to deliver to anyone. “ No, she is physically fine my friend, it is something she has done to someone, oh Siryo, I am so terribly sorry but this day she has…forced herself upon prince Russafinwë in order to marry him” 

Siryo just gaped, like a fish upon dry land. “ Eru, what do you mean forced? Did she flirt as bit too eagerly or something?” 

Ingwë sighed deeply, the naivety of some vanyar. “No Siryo, she raped him. She knocked him out and made him penetrate her thus consummating a marriage that wasn’t wanted from his side.”

Ingwë hadn’t believed that it was possible to be any more pale than Siryo already was but now he saw with his own eyes that yes, it was possible. Then Siryo sort of groaned and his eyes flipped upwards and the king had to catch his own treasurer before the elf hit the stone floor face first. 

A couple of hours later the king sat by the side of Siryo and his wife, both were crying their eyes out and he had tried to explain to them that leaving Valmar could be a good idea right now. He would do whatever he could to help them but he knew that this would be a horrible ordeal to them both. Hellewë was almost hysterical and Siryo seemed to have aged a lot even if elves don’t do that. Ingwë would find somewhere they could stay until the storm sort of blew itself out, it was the least he could do for them. 

He returned to his office only to be hailed by a messenger bearing an envelope with the seal of the valar upon it. He took the envelope with trembling hands and broke the seal whence he was inside the office. The writing was in silver ink upon dark paper and he winced, he had never believed that one of the valar could use such a language, the curses were exquisite to say the least and he almost saw the lord of the valar standing by his desk, fuming with rage. The letter was rather short though, they weren’t to do anything to Vanë until Manwë had sent one of his maiar to evaluate the culprit, he wanted to pass judgment upon the girl himself. 

Ingwë sort of let out a sigh of relief, then it was off his hands and he didn’t have to condemn anyone. He gave orders that Vanë was to be put into a sealed and guarded room and that she was to be fed and washed but she would not be allowed to talk to anyone. He still had a hard time believing that an elf could do something like that to someone. But now he had to do another duty and that was to inform Finwê of the unfortunate events and that was something he really loathed to do but there was no way around it. He sat down yet again and wrote a letter to the noldorin king, praying that this didn’t unleash yet another hell of hostility and anger between their peoples. 

 

Rusa was reliving the whole thing, again and again and again, each time Vanë’s face sort of merged with that of Sauron and for each time his soul got weaker and weaker. He was screaming in denial and shame each time, but nothing happened, nothing could undo what she had done. He longed for Maeglin and he was sure he could hear her voice, reached out for something he couldn’t quite touch. He wanted to tell her of his love for her, just once, but he couldn’t escape the darkness which entrapped him. 

Taurion was sparring against one of his fellow wood elves when a messenger arrived from Valmar, Ingwë wrote that Manwê would see into the case, and that a maia was on the way to see if there was anything he could do to help Rusâ. Namo had been warned too and he was aghast since he had seen the suffering of Rusä in his previous life and had hoped that he would have a happy life this time. The lord of spirits had promised that he would try to make Rusä return to his body if he did enter the halls, he could do that although he rarely denied a spirit entrance to his realm. Maeglin had been fed some sleeping draughts since she was refusing to leave Rusâ’s bedside and Taurion and the rest of the tribe was desperately praying for the young ner’s safe recovery. 

Maedhros and Rog were travelling at break neck speed towards Valmar,, it was only room for two in the small carriage and the horses were very fast and well rested. Maedhros had a terrible feeling of haste and she could feel that the baby inside of her was restless as well. Why she did not know. She only hoped that she would be there in time. 

In Tirion king Finwë was trying to interpret some letters written in the most horrible tengwar he had ever seen when one of the servants came with a note in his hands. “My king, this just arrived by hawk from Valmar, it bears Ingwë’s seal”

Finwê frowned and then he grasped the note and broke the seal, reading the note as he walked through the halls, gradually slowing down as he read line by line, stopping with eyes huge as dinner plates and his mouth ajar. Then he grasped onto his robes and ran as if his pants were on fire, he had to get there, to help if he could, and he had to find Fëanor and tell him of this too. And what in Eru’s name were they to do with the culprit? He didn’t envy Ingwë at all! 

 

Vanë was furious, and humiliated too. She had been washed by some servants, like she was some horse and nobody talked to her. She was fuming with rage by now, and she didn’t really understand why they all suddenly looked at her as if she had dog poop smeared all over her face. What was wrong with trying to better one’s social standing? That darn redhead ought to be grateful that a vanyar nis wanted to marry him, after all, the vanyar were so much better than the noldor. She wasn’t allowed to speak to anyone and she had heard her parent’s voices in the distance but they hadn’t entered the room and Vanë was starting to get very annoyed with everyone. Where was Rusâ? He was her husband now and ought to be there, to help her. She could feel an odd sensation when she thought of him, of something dark and cold and sometimes she could swear she could see a landscape dominated by a huge fortress, and it was dark and dusty and just bad. 

Vanê had no idea of what a marriage bond truly was and now she was being slowly dragged into his world, his memories and she thought it was just nightmares. She had lost count of how many days she had been there in solitary confinement when the door opened and a tall maia entered, she bore the sign of Manwë and looked angelic like they all did. Vanë immediately went into a defensive attitude and she pouted and crossed her arms across her chest. “ I demand that you release me immediately. I am a married nis and ought to be with my husband!”

The maia stared at Vanë, she had been sent to evaluate whether or not the young lady in question was sane and by now she started to feel that Vanë was to be held responsible for her actions but she did also feel something else. She walked forth and put a hand on the nis forehead and then she sort of grimaced and removed the hand. She stared at the servants who had gathered by the door. “Do tell the king that this nis is with child. No punishment may be delivered until the child is born. She is to be taken to the gardens of Lorien, for safe keeping.” 

Vanë stared at the female maia in disbelief. Pregnant? That was impossible! No, she couldn’t be pregnant, it was not real. The maia was wrong! No way, no! She didn’t want a crying and pooping baby, Eru, this wasn’t true! Vanë yelled at the maia” You are wrong, I am absolutely not with child, no! That is a lie” 

The maia stared at Vanë with dispassionate eyes. “But you are little elf, there is a new fëa growing in you right now, and it is female. I am not wrong” 

Vanë stared at the maia, her jaw hung open. No way, that bastard couldn’t have knocked her up that fast? Then she remembered the legendary fecundity of that family and she realized that yes, the maia was right. Vanë went hysterical, she didn’t want this, she didn’t want to grow huge and fat and have stretch marks all over her perfect skin. She didn’t want to have to give birth, or suckle a baby. Her breasts would lose their shape completely! She got so bad the servants had to tie her to a stretcher and then some guards came to carry her into a wagon heading for the gardens. Ingwë was glad to see her go, but he would soon have to explain her disappearance to his people, after all, a family doesn’t simply vanish without an explanation.

When Fêanor was told of his grandson’s fate he almost lost it, then he rode off towards Valmar followed by Nerdanel and some of his sons. Finwë was already on his way and soon there was a huge gathering of noldorin royals outside of the wood clan camp. Maedhros and Rog arrived too and Maedhros almost suffered a complete breakdown when she learned the truth of the incident. She tried to call her son’s fëa back to his body but to no prevail and they were all in despair. They all sat by his side and Maeglin sat there almost the entire time. He was still in a comatose condition and nobody managed to reach him at all. 

Finwë was standing outside of the tent talking to Taurion when a rider arrived from the palace, carrying a note. He gathered everybody to him before reading it and the news had the entire group standing there in shock and disbelief. Maedhros was pale, grasping Rog’s arm in order to stay upright. “She is with child?! Oh Eru. Is my son going to be a father?!”

Finwë swallowed hard. “ Apparently, but the valar has decided that she isn’t to keep the child whence it is born, she is unfitted to be a parent. Manwê suggest that Rusâ is given responsibility of raising the child but he will need help with that.” 

Maedhros pushed her chin out. “ We will all help, no matter what.” 

Maeglin swallowed hard, she found it hard to accept that that bitch was to carry Rusâ’s child and not her, but she had to accept it. “ I will stay by him, and support him, even if that child is born from Vanë”

Finwê smiled at her, a sad smile. “That is very brave of you dear, we all know how terrible this must be for you who were in Angband.” 

That evening Maeglin stayed by Rusâ’s bed and she told him about the baby and that she still loved him, that this was something of which he was innocent. It mattered not to her that Vanë was the mother, she would be there to help him raise that child. 

 

Vanë was transported to the gardens of Lorien where a group of maiar watched over her and she soon became someone they all hated like the plague. She was complaining about everything, she was unable to see the errors of her ways and she hated the fact that she was with child. She soon started to feel the first symptoms and she screamed for hours because she was nauseous and felt bloated. The maiar often let her go for walks in the garden since it would be good for her and they always watched her quite well but one evening she suddenly fell violently ill and the reason became apparent rather fast. She had managed to snatch some leaves from a poisonous flower and had eaten them when nobody was watching, trying to abort the child. The maiar were aghast and now she had attempted murder to add to her crimes as well, both she and the unborn child did survive but it was a close call. Now she wasn’t allowed to as much as go to the privy without being watched and she became horribly irritated and nasty because of that. The maiar were patient but she was tearing even at their kindness and understanding. How could an elf become so self centered and stupid  
?   
By now Ingwë had had to address the population and inform them that Vanë was being kept in the gardens for now, being ill, and that her parents had left the city in order to cope with it. The truth somehow did come out, that she had in fact slept with someone and become with child and many were demanding that she was to be publicly humiliated for her immoral acts. Luckily nobody knew that she had raped the father of her unborn child, that would have sent the entire city into catatonic shock. 

Rusâ didn’t stir, they massaged his body and turned him every hour but he didn’t wake up and they were all in despair, some maiar did try to call his fëa back but it refused to listen to anyone. It hid deep within the darkness, too wounded to care about anything until one evening when it suddenly became aware of a presence. Or rather two presences. One male and one female and both were so bright and new and strangely familiar. Rusâ’s fëa reached out towards them, mesmerized by that soft light and then he heard voices speaking to him, soft young voices unlike any he had heard before. “Come, follow us, it is time for you to return, we both need you brother father” 

He didn’t understand but he sort of felt a pull and he was too weak to resist and suddenly he was being yanked back into his hroa in a most terrible manner and he heard the laughter of distant children before he opened his eyes just to be staring into the face of Maeglin, just inches away. She let out a yell and grasped his hand, tears flowing down her face. “He is awake, he is awake, everybody!!” 

Rusâ couldn’t speak, he was so weak but soon he saw that everybody was there and he didn’t understand, how much time had gone by? Maedhros kneeled by the bed and caressed his hair and Finwë and Fëanor stood by the door, both being close to tears with relief. He felt surrounded by love and joy and it didn’t appear as if any of them blamed him at all? Maeglin caressed his cheek and smiled. “ Oh my friend, I am so glad to see you returned to us, there is so much you need to know.”

Taurion was sitting by his head on the other side of the cot and he held a glass of water and wine up against Rusä’s lips, the tall redhead slowly drank it all and he felt dizzy but also in a strange way purified. As if those lights had somehow removed some of the darkness from his fëa. He blinked and they all came to hold his hand, to assure him that they were there for him. Rusa flinched, he still felt odd, as if there was some sort of huge weight laying on top of him and he remembered what had happened and gasped. She had…. He tried to curl up into a ball but there were hands there touching him and he immediately went into a fit of sheer panic. He just screamed, too horrified to even move further. 

Maeglin stared at him with shock and sorrow and everybody stepped back, Maedhros was crying. “What is the matter with him?” 

Fêanor tried to comfort his daughter and many others also stood there looking pale. “ I think… I think he remembers what happened, and he thinks he is still in Angband”

Maeglin tried to touch his shoulder. “ Rusâ, please, it is me, it is me! I am not dangerous, I will not hurt you!!”

He just mewled, eyes huge with shock and shame and he felt as if ice cold walls were closing in around him, as of huge chains were trapping him and above it all he felt her hands on him still, loveless and greedy and determined. He had to get rid of them, of her, but it felt as if her very essence still was hanging around him, slowly draining the very last strength out of his fêa. Finwë was biting his lower lip and Taurion were close to tears, he remembered that reaction, oh how he remembered. He had felt the same when he was forced to mate with those females back in Angband, and how that shame and regret had burned within his fëa until he was cleansed by Namò. Rûsa kept making low keening sounds, not really aware of them being present and Maedhros felt that her unborn child moved restlessly inside of her, as if it could sense his distress and fear.

Rusâ were making clawing movements towards his neck, as if something was there, choking him and one of the shamans of the wood clan came running and sat down, touched his forehead with a grimace. She gasped and Taurion stared at her, pleadingly. “What is it? What is wrong with him?”

The shaman closed her eyes, she was breathing as if she had been running hard for a long time. “ Oh Eru’s mercy, it is the marriage bond! It was forged through violence, and now it is choking his fëa. That nis is unable to give anything in return for what she takes, and she is taking everything that he is right now!”

Finwë stared at the shaman and he knew she was speaking the truth, a marriage bond was a sacred thing to the elves, it made two souls merge into one, formed a symbiosis of a sort and it was very important that both the nis and the ner gave as much as their took for their souls would suffer greatly if one just acted out of his or hers own interest. “The bond has to be broken, if not it will destroy him utterly”

Taurion frowned. “I didn’t feel that bad after the forced bondings back in Angband?” 

The shaman nodded and got up, she was shivering all over. She had never seen anything like it, as if his soul was surrounded by a dense veil of something dark and dense and just greasy, like filth floating on top of a pond of stagnant water. “You did it to save those nissi from being forced to couple with other and perhaps less gentle ner, and it was just to stay alive too. You weren’t given a choice. This is different, she did it just out of her own egoistic interests, without thinking of the consequences at all. A bond like that can never be anything but false and bad.”

Maedhros gasped. “Then someone, please, do something. It has to be broken, now!”

Rusa was still clawing towards his neck, and he was gasping and struggling even if several of the elves present there tried to gently restrain him. Maeglin was crying and everybody sort of understood by now that she and Rusâ were way more than just friends. This was just tragic. Celegorm had been among the elves who had gathered there since he had visited Finwë when he got the news and he stepped forth. “ I can ride to tell the valar of this, I have a very fast horse and I do not need much rest. I can do it” 

Taurion turned to Finwë who nodded. “ Yes, do ride. We do not have any hawks here now and a messenger would be too slow. Ride hard” 

Celegorm just rushed out of the tent and soon they heard the sound of hooves rapidly disappearing. It was a long ride to Taniquetil, but he would stop for nothing. 

Rusâ was fighting it, that horrible feeling of being smothered, of being drawn out of himself. She was like a black hole, devoid of compassion and understanding, all she cared about was her own ambitions and he saw her now, saw it all through her eyes, felt it through her. How could anyone be so self-centered? And not the least, so stupid and ignorant? She was believing that the world revolved around her and he was just another tool, a step on the ladder towards the power she so craved. He remembered her hands on his body, fondling him with sheer disgust and his heart was weeping, she had ruined also that part of his soul. He doubted that he ever would be able to feel true desire again without remembering the look in her eyes. 

 

Manwë was sitting on his throne, his face dark and his eyes distant. He had to do something about that vanyar nis, she had done a crime so foul the elves barely had a word for it. She had violated more than just Rusâ’s body but also his soul by bonding with him thus and the lord of the valar sighed and wondered how he was to solve this problem. Vane had to be punished but they could do nothing before her child was born and he really had no idea of how he was to deal with her. Then an idea struck him, he had to find someone who had experiences with pregnancies and such, and who weren’t a noldo nor a vanya. Someone with power, but also a warm heart and experience with willful young nissi. There was just one he could think of who fitted the description and it was Melian. She was after all a maia, but she had borne a child of her own, and she was very wise and also very patient. And she was not associated with the noldor nor the vanyar in any way. He got up so fast his robes flew around him, called out for Melian to be called to his throne room. She would keep an eye on that nis and make sure that she didn’t try to end herself or the baby again. It was a great idea.

As Celegorm rode hard towards Taniquetil another rider arrived at the gardens of Lorien, it was the maia known as Olorin or Gandalf back in middle earth and he had come to see for himself that Vanê wasn’t in any way possessed by some evil spirit. Some maiar were worried that perhaps some part of the old evil of Sauron or Morgoth perhaps had survived and attached itself to the nis in question for they had no recollection of an elf ever acting thus. Olorin had fought evil before, and he was way better at discovering its dark contamination than his fellow maiar who had never encountered it before. He was a bit worried, could they be right? Could a small sliver of darkness really have survived and made its way to the blessed realm? He was greeted by some of Lorien’s maiar and welcomed whole heartedly. 

Vane was kept indoors now, and she was bored right out of her skull. But she felt odd at times, and she had these horrible nightmares when she slept too, it was the baby of course. It was causing it and she hated it already. She wasn’t even showing yet and she felt that it was ruining her already. She hadn’t thought that she could become pregnant from doing it, she had in her naïve manner thought that children were conceived in some mysterious manner that included the will of the valar. She heard some commotion outside of the door and heard the servants and maiar discuss that Olorin had arrived, she heard that they all ran off. Oh this was her chance. She pulled a hairpin from her head and used it to pick the lock, frantic and with trembling hands. She had to get out of there, and then she would find a way to get rid of that darn baby and she would teach them all that they couldn’t treat her like this. She didn’t feel the marriage bond since she was the one pulling on Rusâ’s soul, to her he wasn’t even a distant thought. She didn’t realize that the nightmares were his only manner of reaching her.   
She got out of the room, slowly making her way through the huge complex and into the open behind the buildings. There was a forest there, she had no idea of where she really was but that didn’t matter. She had to get away from them all, so she could take her rightful place as a princess. She ran off into the woods and grinned widely, they were such fools, but now she was free. 

The maiar took Olorin to the room where Vanê was kept but it was empty and the lock was open and a hairpin stuck in it. The head maia swore and the others looked terrified. “ Oh Eru, she has run off, she may try to harm her child again!” 

Olorin made a grimace and turned around on his heels. “She cannot have gotten far, and she is on foot. My horse is still warm from the ride here, we will find her” 

He ran off into the yard again and whistled and the huge white stallion ran out of the stable, nickering and pawing at the ground. “Now Shadowfax, show me you still have all your old speed, for we are needed”

He got up onto the horse with a jump and the white Mearas took off like a lightningbolt out of the blue. The speed was amazing and Olorin rode around the buildings and soon he saw fresh footprints. He leaned forward. “Faster old friend, we have to catch her!”

Vanê had been walking for a while when she heard hoofbeats and she gasped and started to run. But she was no match for a mearas, and she was untrained and barefoot too. Olorin rode straight pas her and knocked her out with his old staff. “ You stupid nis, have you any idea of the mess you have created?” 

He hauled the unconscious nis onto the horse in front of him and shook his head. She wasn’t evil, not the way Sauron and Morgoth had been but she was completely corrupted by greed and ambition. 

Melian did accept the job Manwë gave her and she rode off rather fast, she was eager to do something useful and she sort of felt sorry for both the young elves involved in this. She only felt that way until she met Vane who by then had woken up and was in an awful mood. Olorin had brought her back inside and now there were guards even inside of the room all the side. Melian had been used to Luthien, willful and strong and a bit feisty but she had been a lamb compared with Vanë. Before she had spent more than a half an hour with the nis she already knew that Manwë did the right thing deciding that Melian was to take care of the baby until the father was capable of doing so. This nis was a walking disaster and Melian got terribly curious. She was spending her time with her husband and his sindar followers and she had little contact with the vanyar elves. She of course knew that they were a bit pious and lived in a very regulated manner but she had no idea of how bad it really was. So she entered Vane’s mind and what she saw there made her horrified. She could barely believe what she saw and she promised herself to tell everything to Manwë as soon as possible.

Celegorm reached Taniquetil rather late in the evening but he was welcomed by servants and showed right up to the throne room where Manwë waited. The lord of the valar was shocked when he heard of the current situation and he decided that some of the valar had to go and see if they could help Rusâ, the marriage bond was a false one and it had to be destroyed before it destroyed the son of Maedhros completely. He called Nienna and Ulmo and Aüle to him, they were strong and capable of dealing with a challenge like this and they immediately left for the wood clan’s camp. 

They arrived in the morning and by now Rusâ was very weak, and he was unable to fight the feeling of being smothered the whole time. They were shocked by what they saw and Nienna made everybody leave the tent before they went to work. The bond was indeed a thing of darkness, not of light as it should have been and she could feel the anguish and pain of this poor fëa. She did also feel Vanê’s selfishness and haughtiness on the other side of the bond and she hissed. Such a terrible young thing.

But removing the marriage bond proved to be rather difficult, it was tough and resisted any attempts at just dissolving it. The valar assembled frowned, didn’t quite understand why the thing didn’t come apart as it ought to. Rusa was shivering and sobbing and Nienna got a determined expression upon her face. “We have to solve this in a different manner, it is the fëa that is affected, not the hroa. We have to see his fëa to be able to get rid of that thing” 

They all nodded in agreement and so they gathered their powers and saw that the bond indeed had caused Rusâ great distress and still was.   
As the Valar carefully made Rûsa's soul come half-way out of his body, they could see that the forced marriage-bond had tied itself around his neck like a slave collar linked to a chain. The marks on his skin revealed that he must have clawed on his throat in a desperate attempt to get it off him.  
That he also mentally looked like he must have done as a pree-teen in Angband, revealed just how terrified and traumaized he was. "Please...please...take it off....take it off...I-I can't breathe...!" 

He was pleading with tears in his eyes. A jerk on the chain only risked to hurt him so they couldn’t just snap it off in any manner. It was obvious that the bond to him reminded him of being a slave in Angband and so his fëa had created this almost physical manifestation of a slave’s hard collar. Carefully, Nienna placed her hands around his face. "Aulë..." 

The Smith Vala nodded  
"Hold him still. I cannot remove the collar with my smithing toys without risking to harm him. Ulmo, help me." 

After that Ulmo used some water to make it seem like the metal became covered with rust because of the ravages of time, Aulë placed a iron piece against the collar. A single hit with the hammer was enough to make the collar break and fall off Rûsa in several pieces. Rûsa drew a sharp breath, before he started to cry again. The collar was gone but there was still a remnant of the bond left, it wasn’t completely broken and Nienna closed her eyes and contacted their brother in the halls through her mind connection with him. “Namò, we need your help. The bond has to be completely removed now” 

Namò had sort of kept an eye on the whole mess since he had been quite interested in the progress of Rusâ and now he stared at the weave his wife was creating. Every soul was visible there and also the bonds tying them together. He could see the forced bond between Rusâ and Vanê, it was black and twisted and nasty and he sighed and turned to Vairë. “ Sweet darling, the scissors please”

Vairë just handed him a pair of silver scissors with a small grin, she didn’t like it when anybody tampered with her work but this time it was needed. Namò cut the bond with a swift move and pulled the ends out of the weave, now it was as if it never had been there at all and the weave in front of them changed, not much but to their eyes the change was visible. “Now he won’t have to drag her sorry excuse for a fëa with him everywhere, he is free” 

 

Back in the wood clan camp the gathered valar let out a huge sigh of relief as the bond finally disappeared like vapor in front of their eyes. Rusâ gasped and jerked and then the dark feeling just left him and he felt so much better, but still shameful and dirty, as if she had tainted him somehow. The valar touched him gently. “Be strong young one, we have done what we can, now you must allow your friends and family to help you” 

Rusa was shivering still but they put him into a healing sleep, just to make sure that he regained his strength. Without the bond choking him he would fare much better from now on, if he could just got over the deed itself.   
The elves were anxiously waiting outside of the tent when the valar left it, and Nienna smiled and gestured towards the entrance. “He is sleeping now, and let him sleep until tomorrow. Then it is up to you to heal his heart, we have done what we can”

Maedhros let out a sigh of relief. “What about his unborn son or daughter?”

Aulë answered. “Manwë has decided that Melian is to keep a watch over Vane and the child, she is strong, and has a good heart and she will protect the little one no matter what”

Maedhros smiled with gratitude and the valar took off again, eager to tell their lord of the event. Maeglin stayed with Rusâ the whole time and she was very worried about how he was going to cope with the reality of the situation. It did take more than a day before Rusâ woke up again and when he did he was confused and disoriented but he did remember and he reacted with fear when someone tried to touch him, even his mother. Maeglin swore that she would help him overcome this problem, no matter how long it would take and so she started by telling him that she still felt the same for him and that he in her eyes were just as pure as before. This was done to him, not by him in any way. 

Taurion made sure that the shamans and healers were aware of Rusa’s problems and so the journey towards recovery started. It wasn’t easy, first of all he had developed a sense of disgust when it came to his own body and refused to even wash himself, and he wouldn’t let anyone else touch him neither. And after a few weeks he also confessed another problem to his father, a more embarrassing one. Since the attack he hadn’t been able to function at all, he didn’t even wake up hard in the morning and that made the healers a bit concerned. He was of course off the herbs now but that didn’t reawaken his libido at all, he was so traumatized that anything even remotely intimate sort of made him turn away in disgust. Not even Maeglin managed to awaken any sort of reaction within him. He did appreciate her presence and he did love her but he couldn’t stand being touched and the very idea of doing anything sexual again made him pale and sweaty. 

Maedhros had enough with her pregnancy and the other elves had to go back home too but Taurion made sure that everybody were aware of his progress, and his problems. Finwë had returned to Tirion where he had to answer a lot of questions and he tried to avoid telling anyone the truth. He just said that prince Russafinwë had been attacked and that the culprit had been dealt with by the valar. But rumors were naturally flying and nobody wanted to just forget about it and move on.

Ingwë too had problems. He had gotten a letter from Melian where she explained what she had seen in Vane’s mind and she was aghast by it all. She wanted Manwë to do something about the problem and she suggested that all vanyarin youths were to spend at least two years with the woodelves, and two more with the teleri just to see more of the world and have their horizon widened. Ingwë immediately put her suggestions into action, he made it mandatory for the vanyar to leave home for some years before their came of age and he was just as immediately attacked rather viciously by those who thought that he and Melian were trying to corrupt their young ones. It got so bad there almost were riots in the streets and in the end Manwë himself saw the necessity of showing up. That of course brought most of the vanyar into a state of religious hysterical frenzy since he after all was the lord of the valar, and Manwë rolled his eyes and swore to himself as he explained that the strict rules the vanyar lived by were their own inventions and not something the valar had told them to use at all. In fact the valar were shocked by their practices and their stupidity and wanted them all to be more like the avarin and sindar elves who had a way more positive view upon life and just about anything. That of course caused a lot of commotion, a lot of soul searching and who is to blame, not me type of thinking but after a few weeks with intense turmoil things sort of calmed down. After all, life felt so much more easy and free without at least five hours or prayer every day.

Vanê didn’t get to enjoy this awakening among her people, she was held under constant surveillance and Melian was strict. She tried to show some sympathy for the young one but it was hard, very hard. Thingol came to visit every now and then and Melian told him of the stuff she had seen in Vane’s mind and she also showed him some of it through their bond. Thingol just shook his head and claimed that not even he had been that strict with his daughter before Beren showed up and then Melian promptly reminded him of the whole silmaril mess and how she had refused to bed him for a few months afterwards. She had not agreed upon his decision at all. 

But by now Vanê really got to feel what it meant to be pregnant. She grew fast and she also suffered from nausea and back pains and she was constantly crying, feeling sorry for herself. Melian tried to make her see the errors of her ways but she seemed to be unable to realize that the thing she had done was bad. When Melian told her the marriage had been annulled she went into a fit of rage so strong she had to be sedated and afterwards she blamed the maiar for everything and acted like a sulking toddler. The maiar made sure that she had good food and that her physical needs were well taken care off but she didn’t show any sort of gratitude at all, and when her parents finally were allowed to visit she almost refused to see them. Both were crying and begging her to repent and show some remorse but she didn’t even understand what they were saying. To her it had been a logical and sound plan and she openly told them they weren’t good enough and that they were too lowly for her. She wanted a higher status and that was that.

Melian had to comfort a crying Siryo and his wife did break down and had to be taken care of by some of Lorien’s maiar. Vanê did have a tough pregnancy after all, she didn’t have the father of the baby there to support and strengthen her and so the baby took much of her own energy. That left her so weakened she didn’t have enough strength to be all that difficult to deal with and so the maiar and servants drew a collective breath of relief. Rusâ had by then been told of his daughter and he wanted to connect with the child but he couldn’t meet Vanê again. The valar did forbid it for it would cause him huge torment and she would perhaps get ideas again. So he wouldn’t see the child until it was born and brought to Formenos. 

He and the rest of the family had returned to the city now and he was getting better but it went slowly, very slowly. It was in fact Celegorm that managed to finally get him out of his self loathing, his uncle pushed him through hours of rigorous training and slowly he came to realize that in order to really achieve something he had to accept himself and not the least love his own hroa and its capabilities. Nobody pushed him, they were all supportive and thus he got out of the state but it took some relapses and hours of torment before he could stand being hugged or kissed again. Maeglin helped him a lot and everybody knew by now that they were a couple and that they would wed when he had come of age. Maeglin had reassured him that she still wanted him and he had a hard time believing it but slowly he started to trust her again, and he even confessed that he was starting to get certain feelings whenever she was near. 

Vane on the other hand was getting very large and the maiar feared that the baby was a huge one, in fact Maedhros had been a big baby and Rusa would have been huge too if Maedhros had been given proper food throughout the pregnancy so it was a family thing for sure. Now Vanê really started to regret the thing she had done, not because she in any way realized that she had hurt Rusâ terribly, no, because she was in discomfort and pain all the time. And she didn’t like it at all! She could barely move when her due date was getting closer and Melian was just looking forward to the birth so she wouldn’t have to deal with this horrible girl anymore. Vanê had even managed to claim that Rusâ probably enjoyed what she had done since he had managed to knock her up and Melian almost lost it there and then. She wished she could transform that nis into something which suited her attitude, like a worm or something. 

But Vanê soon got new things to consider, she hadn’t really thought of the fact that the baby had to come out and now she realized what she was up against and went crazy with fear. She didn’t want to give birth and she was screeching and screaming and Olorin who visited every now and then to check on the progress thoughts she sounded like a ringwraith. He was bold enough to say that to her face and she called him a babbling old idiot and a sorry excuse for a maia. Vanê couldn’t leave the bed at all and had to be washed and cared for and that didn’t exactly heighten her mood, the servants were fighting to be the one who could take a break when the others did their duties and cleaned the nis. The birth started early one morning and Vanë immediately caused problems. She didn’t want to do it, she hated the baby, she hated everybody and they should make this stop right now! Of course it didn’t stop but they had to sedate her when she refused to push or be examined and when the baby finally was delivered the present servants, midwife and maiar were soaked with sweat and very shaken. Vanê was the kind of person able to scream even when she was unconscious and those screams reminded them all of those of a dying Oliphant. 

The baby was a healthy girl, very large with a shock of dark red hair and deep blue eyes. She was a very beautiful child and Melian sort of fell in love with her right away. They managed to give the baby its first drink of milk from the mother, then they got a wet nurse to follow Melian to Formenos. Vanê didn’t even want to see the baby and she was angry and cross since she had put on weight and gotten stretcmarks. She was of course weak after the birth but the maiar were relieved that she would be taken to Tirion to be judged the moment she was strong enough for it. 

Melian did go to Formenos when the baby was a few days old, it was a slow journey but one she enjoyed even though she knew she would have to deliver the child to its father at her arrival. When they did arrive they were welcomed by most of Rusâ’s family and he broke down in tears when he finally got to hold his daughter. He loved her the moment he saw her and Maeglin found that she too was quite taken by the infant. There was nothing of the mother in her and the baby apparently had inherited almost everything from its father’s side of the family. Melian promised to visit and see how things were going and so Rusâ were left with his daughter and everybody came to see her and admire her. The baby took it all with great calmness and Madhros who by now had given birth to an albino son named Yüe believed that this one and her new son would become great friends over the years. The girl was named Naretàr for her fire red hair and Rusä proved to be an amazing father. In fact the sight of his daughter sort of cured the last of his depression and his trauma, when something this beautiful did come out of it after all it couldn’t be seen as only bad.

When Naretâr was five months old there came a message from Tirion, Manwë had found that it was time for Vanê’s trial and judgment and everybody who wanted to be there were invited. Rusâ didn’t want to go but he knew he had to, and he took the girl with him. Maeglin too joined him and soon the entire noldorin royal family travelled to Tirion for the trial. There were a lot of vanyar elves there too. After Manwë had showed them the truth about their piety they had changed a lot but they all wanted to show that they were shocked by this nis actions and that they turned their backs to her. The city was teeming with elves for by now everybody knew the truth and it had make quite a few elves feel rather sick. Nobody had any sympathy for Vanê and her family were supported and taken care of in every way. 

The guilty nis was brought to the Mahanaxar in the morning and she wore just a very simple grey dress and her hair had been cut short too. She was angry like never before and she refused to accept any guilt. Rusâ had feared that he would feel the same fear now as he had back then but no, he could only see one deranged and sick person and so his fear dissipated and he felt anger instead. The crowd was eerily silent and Vanê told that she thought it was her right to do whatever she could to catch herself a high ranking husband. That answer made many just glare and gasp and now they really saw how twisted the vanyar ideals had become. It was a good thing Manwë had managed to turn things around. When the goal of life was to catch a spouse with higher social status and spend the days just praying and being haughty and proud towards those less privileged things cannot continue without problems, at least not for long.   
Manwë had been silent when she explained herself and he was rather furious looking when he got up. “You have broken the very laws of the eldar in a way nobody has before you. You have violated someone’s fêa, caused great grief and sorrow and you also tried to kill your own child. Do you have anything to say to your defense?”

Vanê just spat, she didn’t realize that she was to be judged, to her everybody were inferior and she didn’t fear the valar at all. She had never seen their power. “ I didn’t want that brat in the first place and just look what it did to my figure, I look like a stack of hay!”  
Many just stared with huge eyes and Manwë looked even more terrifying. “Does anyone wish to speak on behalf of the accused?”   
He stared at her parents but they just looked down and shook their head, too ashamed of their daughter’s deeds to be able to speak. He also looked at Rusâ and the tall ner held his daughter tight to his chest and shook his head too, rather sternly. Manwê turned around and stared at Vanê and his eyes were ablaze. “You have shown no remorse, no guilt. You have acted in a most despicable manner and for this you would normally be sent to the halls until the remaking of Arda but that won’t change a thing I fear. Your fëa is too twisted to learn anything from that” 

There was silence, what was to come now? The lord of the valar smiled, a very thin and ominous smile. “We have thus come to the conclusion that you are to suffer the fate of mortals, you will be removed from our realm and be reborn as a mere mortal in middle earth, as a slave to a very cruel master. And as your lives pass by you will learn what it means to be at the mercy of others, again and again and again, until your fëa does realize what you have done and what you were supposed to be”

Vanê just stared, she didn’t understand. “That is impossible, I am an elf! “

Manwë shook his head. “Eru has spoken, you are no longer to be counted among the firstborn. You are from now on a lost soul, a drifter, condemned to an eternity of rebirth.” 

Vanê stared at the crowd, most looked a bit shocked but none showed any form of sympathy at all. “What?! I refuse, I do not accept this!”

Manwë grinned, the grin was vicious. “ Oh but you have no choice little one, not anymore.”

He spoke one word and Vanê suddenly appeared to fade away, become transparent somehow. She screamed and tried to fight it but before many moments were gone she was there no more and her parents gasped and sobbed. Melian came over to comfort them and she hugged them both. “If you wish for it you will be granted more children, as many as you like, to replace Vanê. Just make sure you don’t spoil them please” 

They nodded and cried some more and Rusa stared at the place where Vanê had stood and felt free, strangely so. He felt as if a great weight had come off his shoulders and when he returned home with his daughter it was with peace in his fëa and a new hope for the future. He just knew that Vanê had changed the very fate of them all, only time would tell if it would be for better or for worse but right now he wanted to enjoy his daughter’s childhood and the friendship of Maeglin and one day, when the time was right and they all were ready for it maybe Naretàr would get siblings too. Already some claimed that Naretàr was illegitimate and a bastard, that she couldn’t be regarded as a part of the royal family but those voices would fall silent in time and nobody of his family saw her as anything but a very precious little gift bought at a horrible price but still worth it in the end. He hugged Naretàr and kissed her forehead and knew that even from a bad thing something good may appear after all.


End file.
